my life

2008-08-03T06:20:00.000-07:00

5dayz til sports day..OMG
my legs hurt lyk hell T.T
traning for the day..
running n running n more running...
AHHHHHH
PAIN...
but onli doing 100m, 400m, relay and high junp...
all using leg mah XD
i wanna get 1st place..(who doesnt)
haiz..wish me luck..gonna need it..
W@LK3R

2008-07-29T07:06:00.001-07:00

writing this post for fun...
nuthin much goin on nowadayz...
life is sad...
haiz...
im actually studying for a change XD
ppl can change if they want to...
bt im still reading manga in class-_-"
cnt help it..
since its late..gna go sleep now..
W@LK3R

1st day of the new trem

2008-07-23T05:44:00.000-07:00

not sure good...
cuz im sick(flu)T.T
lets see hw tomoro turns out lor...
nt gna enjoy this term...
i noe it
W@LK3R

(1month later) back to square 1...

2008-07-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

almost a month nw...(sigh)
19th of this month i went to a birthday party...(2dayz ago)
mayb i should not hv gone...
after that..me n my friends(not the ones frm the bday party)
went out for a drink...
and i got drunk...ha..ha...
emotion got in the way again...(sigh)
mayb i shouldnt see that person anymore...since it hurts so much..
as muhc as i want to avoid that person...my heart tells me other wise
any1...any advise?
(sigh)
back to i got drunk...
woke up nxt morn felt lyk shit..
smsed meimei...about wut happened...
she didnt do much...guess that was ok..
dont feel lyk blodding anymore...
gna go watch korean drama n drown myself with wtv..
W@LK3R

(can there b a title for this)

2008-06-28T22:06:00.000-07:00

today..ws supposingly supposed to be a nice one..
it all ends today..its over..i dnt think any1 could feel wut im feeling rite nw..
apart frm u..
every single god dam time this alwayz happens...
WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE WRONG TO DESERVE THIS!?!?!?
i only end up hurting others..
putting so much into this and in the end..losing everything..
guess i was rite the first time..if u hv no dream..then u dnt get hurt if u dnt get there..
but if u do..u jz break down in the end..
i duno y i keep on getting up everytime i fall..
i jz neva learn..
but this time..i think im jz gna stay down n neva get up again..
so no1 eles gets hurt..onli me..
for all the pain ive caused for u..ive taken it back..
the blood that has fallen from my fist cant b taken back..
id rather hv u as a friend..than not havin u at all..
i feel lyk blowing up rite nw..
this is the worst feeling i hv ever gotten..
mayb cause i reli did giv al i had..
bt now i noe..nt to giv everythin i hv into this anymore..
ther is a reason for this to come to an end..
it was my stupidity nt to think b4 i moved..
checkmate..
i guess losing is hard..
bt losing some1 is even harder..
espesially if its some1 u love..
in my case..onli some1 wil noe who that some1 is..
and onli 2 of those ppl wil noe whats its lyk..
i want to c her agian..bt at the same time..i dnt want to..
bcause i dnt noe wuts goin to happen..
the onli person i can talk to bout this is not here rite nw..(away on vacation)
love reli does hurt..guess i was too navie thinking that this would last..
great..i jz ruined my vacation..haiz..
i still dnt get one thing...
WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?
W@LK3R

big time mess up...

2008-06-23T03:03:00.000-07:00

wasnt going to do it..
bt cldnt jz leave without saying goodbye again..
so i did..and there were witnesses...DUH
there were 12 ppl..who wldnt see!?
the ppl eating wldnt...nt my point..
point is..one mom hates me..
my sister is blaming me..(it is my fault newayz)
wanna call the mom..bt duno wt to say and scared as hell
and now gna spend tt special day alone..cuz i sure as hell aint setting my foot back into that hse..
atleast not for the nxt 6months...
apologies to wenn...the mom..and most of all yan T.T
W@LK3R

one week to go!

2008-06-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

one month is almost here..
i think i might have did smth thing wrng tonite...
bt it was worth it..
i had doubt at first..but i did it newayz
im hapi high rite nw..cuz of my dinner n the thing i did..
W@LK3R

here without you

2008-06-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

its almost to a month..10more dayz..
it hurts to b away from you..but thers no otha way..
soon enough we'll find sumway..dont wory..
bt atleast nw i noe wher u live XD
so close..yet so far
it hurts even more now the i noe wher u live..
ill get used to it..
dnt miss me too much..
frm day to day..we'll get used to it..
bt my love will neva be one bit less..
it wil b the same day after day..
i love you
W@LK3R

hope this feeling last

2008-05-29T03:47:00.000-07:00

i jz hope that wut happened 2day..will last..
i neva want it to end..i dnt want to lose this again..
thx for saying yes..it reli made my day..
i will neva let this go..i will onli make it better
i hope this feeling last..4 both of us..
W@LK3R

good day

2008-05-27T04:40:00.000-07:00

nuthin bad happened in skol 2day..
bt彦雁came to my skol!!
i couldnt concentrateT.T haiz...
she is goin to china this friday.n i noe i wnt b able to concentrate then too..
any1 any advise?!
W@LK3R

nuthin much

2008-05-22T06:05:00.001-07:00

hey..dnt even think any1 reads this..
skol ws ok..gt hme..wel the ussual..mom scolded me
haizzz..bt im used to it..haha..
yes! my sister is coming back frm penang! nt gna b alone anymore!!!
bt shes goin to uni soon T.T
im gna b alone again!!! T.T~ WTH man..
W@LK3R

same day..

2008-05-20T05:48:00.000-07:00

WHY ISNT ANYONE READING THIS LEAVING ANY COMMENTS!?!?
OMG i am soo sad T.T

may 20, 2008

2008-05-20T05:40:00.000-07:00

sry..wsnt feeling well yesterday..
ws half dying..hehe..
feeling better nw..nuthin much happened yesterday..
except that..some1 made me worry until i cnt sleep..(died in skol)
man..told her nt to sleep so late..n she still did..@ lyk 12am..woke up 6am..haiz..naughty man..
dnt wan listen to me..nxt day go skol can barely stay awake..summore gt exam=.=
wel think its gna be the same as today...n tomoro..until her examz r all done..haiz...
little girl sleep earlier today..
i almost died in class to day..lucky gt all lyk blind teachers today..
feel asleep in science..
W@LK3R

may 19 2008

2008-05-18T20:03:00.000-07:00

the day just started n im alredy in a bad mood...
cuz the internet disconnected 5 times..WTF..haizz
didnt get much sleep last nite either..ws worrying bout sum1..i should b worrying bout myself more..bt i put others b4 me..im dying n still worrying bout her..hee
so yea..check back in later..to c wut happens today
im even curious..
W@LK3R

age 15(present)

2008-05-18T06:28:00.001-07:00

nt gna tel u readers wut happened between me n her..(sry must refer to u as her..ask wenn y..jz incase 'some1' reads this)
we recently went out to catch a movie..things didnt go well..rushed to get back home..T.T..didnt hv time to say good-bye T.T~
wel she understands..my feelings for her r still der..nt they r not goin anywhere..我爱她不知道她爱不爱我。。im ok with tt..你要多少时间我都会给你。。jz take ur time
wel im gna go nw..cnt bother typing nemore..
jz gna leave it here..
come back tomoro n c wuts up
W@LK3R

age 14

2008-05-18T06:01:00.000-07:00

im in a new skol! Australian International School Malasia(AISM)
this skol is ok..ang mo everywher...
close friends:(since the skol yr started)
tae jin
oscar
louis
(later in the yr)
emmanuel
nicole
shoo wenn
victoria
彦雁
the year went pretty well..until i meet victoria..
i asked her out..den ot=ut of the blue..the 'b my gf' came out..she said yes..
so yea..went pretty wel 4 2weeks..until i started hearing stuff frm my sisters(wenn n nicole)
my feelings started to drop..whn i thought i had it sorted out..stuff of her came up again..tt tore me even more..she was cheating me me..(this bf was b4 me..bt still)i gt REALLY pissed off (alot more happened onli the ppl involved noe) i called a time out..then skol went into holiday..2days b4 my bday..she broke up with me..using her 'teddy bear'(jin) waht a bitch! if u wanna say sumthin say it ur self!! using him.bt yea she has been using him 4 yrs..
i asked y did she break up with me..she said cuz i onli lecture her whn im with her..HA!
i tel her not to hug other guys bt she still does it..she doesnt like whn i tel her tt..bt she still does it(cnt blame me..im her boyfriend man!) bt whn i talk to nicole or wenn..she complains to emmanuel(nicoles BF)oh nw c who's talking..she hates it whn i 'talk' to other girls..wut i do feel whn she fucking hugs others guys!? BITCH! i gave her a clear view of wut i ment..(no details)
den i told her 'the nxt time b4 u break a boys heart..think of wut i did to u'
(1month later)
nw life is better..calmed down..bt then..(this is all wenn's fault) wenn introduced me to a friend of hers...OMG..she is soo cute..bt she keeps on saying she's nt..i started to like her..i asked..bt she sadi'____'...'I____want 2_________..
W@LK3R

age 13 (my last month in china)

2008-05-18T05:45:00.000-07:00

SHIT..now i find out that im leaving..girl one found out too..broke her heart..broke mine too..bt ther ws nuthin i could do.
that month passed by very slow..bt it ws nice
spent everyday after skol walking her home(we live in the same place) on saterdays we would go to the park and talk walk around the compound..we went on 2 dates..
whn it ws time to leave i had too..i cnt stay der..so i said my good-bye(not gna go into details)
on the plane all i could think of ws her..flight took 4 1/2 hours back to malaysia..it was a night flight think it was 7pm..
whn i gt to the hotel..i slept rite away(didt sleep on the plane)
whn i woke up..i relized that i passed out..1st thing tts came into my mind ws..breakfast..yes i ws hungry(E-A-T-I-N-G)
whn i finished i went back to the room..watched tv..tried to block thoughts of her outta my mind..bt nuthin worked..ask mum if i could go pc bar..she said yes..went online email her..telling her to let me go cuz it would neva work lyk dis..we were 13!
whn i gt her email back..she said she didnt wan to..so i hd to break her to make her let me go..i told her it was all a lie bout me liking u..she dint belive me(who would?)..so i stopped replying/sending her emails..until she stopped sending..it broke me to do it..bt it had to be done..if she kept her feelings 4 me..she would feel bad..i would 2
rite nw..2day..she still has feelings for me..tts wut she told me..bt i told her to get rid of them..bt she still wouldnt..(man..girls r sooo naughty)
rite nw she's living in hong kong..she is still the same old her..almost..hope i cn see her again..jz to catch up on things..if i hv a gf..well thats gna b a problem..(we'll talk bout tt later keke)
well this ends here..nt very detailed bt hey..2yrs ago..nt able to recal much info..ill add nething i can pull up in the future..
W@LK3R

age 10-12 (first crush)

2008-05-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

new girl in skol!!! in my class! she not hot-hot..bt yea my type.
yes im 10..so wut..
didnt ask..thought it would be embarrasing..so i left it der.
Age 11
i get another girl in class (4get the boys man)..this one is oso pretty..
bt nt ma type..still on girl one..
bt they bcame best friends (sux for me)..girl one told girl two she likes me..girl two tells me the news..i got shocked badly..
so i went up to girl one and asked her..she said 'yes i do like you' but i replied i like you too..bt were still young..if both of us r still here in year6 or higher..hw bout den? she said ok..didnt think it would be possible..
W@LK3R

age 9

2008-05-18T05:37:00.000-07:00

dun quiet rmb much..so nt gna write nethin..

age 8

2008-05-18T05:35:00.000-07:00

still in china..bt getting used to it..the seasons, ppl, food..its ok..still small..duno shit..oh the school i go to is called Nanjin International School(NIS) best skol i've been to in my life..(im 15 nw..bt the dam blogg thing says im 14..fuck it)..im 15 man! n im a aries! nt scropio!! god dammit! who made this!?

age 7

2008-05-18T05:33:00.001-07:00

whn i ws 7..i live in kuatan, malaysia..had friends..b4 i moved to china..dads company sent us der..4 years..it wsnt tt bad..except ppl in skol der were ang mo..kinda anoying..nuthin much happened whn i was 7..still small..n dumb..
W@LK3R

my life so far

2008-05-18T04:53:00.000-07:00

my life so far is ok..
bt everytime i do sumthin rite..i get scolded..i do sumthin wrng..i oso get scolded..so wuts the point?!?! life sux whn u noe wuts coming..i cn tel wuts coming in my family..b4 i ask mum or dad sumthin i noe wut theit gna say..HAIZZZZZZZZ
bt im still living life anyway..wuts the point of killing ur self!? u jz hv to live life in another body(duno guess onli)..might as well experince it once..
tts nt all tt happened in my life..hey im 15..teenagers hv ALOT of things happening in their lives..
keep reading my bloggs to find out more..of wut hs happened in my life..
thx for reading this to the end..yes ppl think im 'EMO' bt im nt..im jz an angry little boy..
W@LK3R